you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize