i will never coherently bang her
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize