What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
