i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize