Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
