no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days