Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market

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(415): View more from California

worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.

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(772): View more from Florida

bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls

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(940): View more from Texas

Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(978): View more from Massachusetts

i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx

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(309): View more from Illinois

They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?

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