Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .

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(530): View more from California

Fat chicks shouldn't bartend

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid

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(925): View more from California

Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(916): View more from California

I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...

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(313): View more from Michigan

well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails

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(402): View more from Nebraska

He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too

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(914): View more from New York

So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.

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