take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping