Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Dating After Heartbreak
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.