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• (630): View more from Illinois

  You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?

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• (916): View more from California

  she's into porn, im staying here tonight

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (417): View more from Missouri

  He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.

  (1-417): View more from Missouri

  I love foreign exchange students.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  that bad?

  (847): View more from Illinois

  u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Get you some cowboy.

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.

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