its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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