where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
