We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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