Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment