some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle