don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize