I hate your face
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I don't deserve a penis
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
