Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
