You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize