So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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