I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize