Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
