so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Randomize
