Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
