The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize