I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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