Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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