I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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