I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
