I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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