Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i drank out of a bidet.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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