some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize