i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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