VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
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This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
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My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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