Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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