I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
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I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
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You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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