your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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