i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
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Fuck now we have to have sex
In a bet, need to win
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
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How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.