I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.