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covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you would pick up someone in the library
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
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