drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months