my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
she looked like the before picture.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
