hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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