Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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