I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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