I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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