You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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