All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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