you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
