Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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