i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize