nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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