at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
