I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
