WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
