I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
