Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize