This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important