There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
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I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.